Picture of boys and girls socialization

                                                                     

Comparing the readings

I really enjoyed both the readings. I consider myself really into woman's rights and woman gaining more power, rights and going higher and higher. That said i think that if a woman doesn't mind not working and if its financially feasible and she wont regret it later in life then I'm all about it. In the socialization of children reading, it said that the more hands on and involved and supportive you are of your kids the better of a human being they will be, and a more productive member of our society. Of course i would love it more if working class, and poor woman could do this, but unfortunately they don't have the support or resources like middle class or rich woman who don't need to work. A poorer mom may not have husband support, or he may not make enough for the family so they both must work which may take away from one on one time. So they are so tired from a week of work, that on weekends when they should be doing family outings they are home sleeping. When i think of all these things i think of my friend Ili. I think she is the best parent ever. She is an authoritative parent. She takes her kids on educational and fun outings, and the kids do very creative things, art groups, The Girls Club they go to visit the library and read aloud with each other. Her youngest is in the gifted and talented program. She can do all these things because she doesn't work. Flip side, she is a poor single mother who gets govt help. She is 30 and lives with her mom and dad in their 2 bedroom apartment where her and her kids share a room and everything is packed in disorder but she knows where everything is. She is smart and started school but then fell in love blah blah blah. She is paying off her loan to start school up again and get a good job maybe teaching? So she can give herself and her children better. I don't know if i want her to do this thought, because she is alone and school and ultimately work will take up a huge chunk of time. She will be more tired and she wont be able to do the things she does now. She also will not be paid as much as a man.  So the question is, not work and have awesome kids who will excel her or work and throw the dice in the air and see where it falls?

Relating

I think that with the videos and chapter 6 Melanie Wood, who has a PH.D in math and has won a silver metal for the U.S international Mathematical Olympiad team, was probably always pressured by media and society to do other things. Commercials don't say, go be a mathematician they say go to this website(spend daddy's money) and buy shoes that have heels in them that wont show. Instead of her girlfriends pushing for a math study group, I'm sure they were tying to go to the mall and do a rites of passage activity and get the new Victoria secret bra that gives a little "extra push" so boys notice you. When we see commercials with jobs like engineering, debate, govt, business, math we see men with there female secretary's, assistants, their wives. There are a plethora of housewives shows where they aren't even wives they are divorced single woman. Who's rich husbands left them for a younger woman pushing the truth that Americans are obsessed with youth, and when you get enough wealth you trade in old with new. This is our cultures values and beliefs. I think this media shows people that vows aren't that sacred and its ok cause everybody is doing it. Its ok to get a divorce cause woman loss value with age and if your rich enough it doesn't matter if she gets half, but this also makes men a target for hot gold diggers.

With chapter 6 they say alot of children's socialization is learned in the home, which is true. I feel that its really apparent when you look at a guy, who hits his babys mother, speaks badly to her and disrespects her. He probably puts his child in bad situations like maybe, hanging with him and his friends late on a street corner. Cat calling woman,  him and his friends talking about "hoes they bang" learning the child bad ways of being. Constant objectification of woman, hanging with peers groups with similar backgrounds. A mother who may be there but works alot will not be able to combat all the outside influence. So of course this child will be one of the guys that adhere to the man box and the foundation table of men.

A Call to Men.

A call to men to me was about men not being truly free, because they have to adhere to the constraints of what a "real man" is supposed to be and that the old rules need to be torn down challenged and be replaced with new ones. The little boy said, to live outside the man box i would be truly free. Tony said that men need to see woman more as equals, because then we could try to stop the violence that has only intensified against us.This piece reminds me of when i was younger and my mom had a long term boyfriend who i actually liked, (unlike her other ones) and lived with us. Me and him were talking one day and he said to me id never go hungry. I said why?, well because i was sitting on a goldmine, my vagina. Another time i had sex with a friend(so i thought)and he said could you have sex with my other friend, he is a good guy and really kinda needs it right now. He was trying to guilt me in to it! Both of these times -but definitely not only- i felt sexually objectified. These guys thought my vagina was up for grabs and public property, and i shouldn't object because vagina's get penetrated and since i am an extension of my vagina, for them to mentally and emotionally penetrate me was fine. How about you will never be hungry cause your smart and will get a good job, or thanks Blu for sharing yourself with me. I know you don't just do it with anyone.

Killing us Softly

They might be killing us softly but watching that video made me feel punched in the gut hard. Which i think is what every woman feels when we see an unattainable image in the media, followed by your soul sinking to your feet. I often feel like the young woman from "The Craft" movie were she looks at herself in the mirror but her image looks away. I cant even look at myself sometimes because my face is to real-haha- to real because it is a failure and a reminder that I'm not the ideal for society and most important myself. Not like we are bombarded with beautiful brown natural haired sisters with a little thickness for me to attain to. And not like i think this all the time, just some.........

........The movie is telling me what i know.That woman are objectified and seen as just parts not a whole, and are torn down and made to feel lesser then because if you let somebody stay whole like a real person you might have to respect them and bring them to the table. Like racisim when black people had to force white people to see them as humans and make them bring us to the table. Kinda like in the movie "A Time to Kill" the all white jury was set to kill Samuel L Jackson because he had killed the men that had raped his daughter not until the lawyer said, "imagine if this was your daughter" did the jury finally get it. Maybe if every man was garanteed a daughter and told she will be treated how you treat woman for the rest of your life would things change.